Bad Behaviour in Children

Scenario:

Son is being very quiet, You, the parent goes looking for him. Parent finds son in the bathroom, squeezing toothpaste all over and spraying cologne. Parent "Stop that! Put that cologne back! How many times do I have to tell you not to play with the toothpaste and cologne!" Son looks at you defiantly and squeezes more toothpaste out. Parent reaches out and grabs the toothpaste from son, and smacks his hand. "Nooooo!!" Son throws the cologne at Parent. Parent yells "we do NOT throw things" and grabs the cologne and smacks it down on the counter. Son yells back and hits parent. Parent goes "That's it! you're getting a spanking!" *spank* "You do not use things that are not yours" *spank* "When I tell you to stop, you stop" *spank* *spank* We do NOT throw things and we do NOT hit!" *spank* *spank* *spank* "Now go to your room!" Son goes to his room wailing after the the spanking.

1 hour later:

Son is pulling things out of a cupboard.
"STAY out of the cupboard! Put those BACK." Son ignores you and continues pulling things out. Parent goes over to son and says "Put those back NOW!" Son says "NOOO!!" Parent grabs son's hand, puts a thing in it, and shoves son's hand toward the cupboard. "Now put it back!" Son throws the thing at Parent. Parent says "We do NOT throw, now put that back." Son throws another thing at Parent. Parent smacks his hand. Parent says "Put it back now, or you're getting a spanking." Son yells no and hits Parent. Parent goes *spank* *spank* *spank* *spank* now put it back. Son, upset and crying, puts the things back. Parent glares at Son and says, "Now stay out of there or else!!"

1 hour later:
Daughter is playing with a toy. Son grabs it and tries to take it from Daughter. Daughter protests and holds onto it. Son says "LET GO NOW" Daughter doesn't let go, and protests more. Son hits daughter's hand, daughter lets go, and then cries, since she lost the toy, and hits his hand. Son hits Daughter harder and yells at her, "I want it! It's my toy!!" Parent comes over to Son and Daughter and goes "Son, what is wrong with you! DO NOT HIT YOUR SISTER!! How many times do I have to tell you we do not take what isn't ours, we do not yell and we do not hit!" *spank* *spank* *spank* *spank* "Now go to your room!"

That son is quite the brat, isn't it? He's going to be a problem child and an even bigger problem teenager when he grows up. He's just always hitting, his parents, his siblings, and now his siblings are copying him too! He's probably going to end up being a horribly violent person. That Parent has tried so hard to teach him that we do not take things from others, we do not throw things at people, and do not hit people. This Parent is trying to teach Son not to do take, yell, throw, and hit, but Son isn't learning very well. WRONG.

Unfortunately, Parent has forgotten one very important thing about parenting. The biggest influencer of behaviour, especially of a young child, is modelling. Children model their parents, all the time, in almost everything. Son, like all children, is actually a very very good at learning to copying his role-models.

Son, has learnt that when someone does something that you don't like, you are to speak aggressively and/or accusatorily to the person. If someone has something someone else wants, or thinks they shouldn't have, again, speak aggressively/accusatorily to them. If that doesn't get the results you want, you escalate and get more aggressive and yell at them. If they don't do what you want, or give the thing up, go after them, take it from them, with aggression if you have to. If they protest, or try to refuse, hit them. If they continue to protest, and if they yell back, hit them harder, again and again until they submit, or until you feel it's an adequate punishment.


You see, this, is exactly what the Parent has done to the Son. The Son is very good at modelling his Parent's behaviour, and this, is exactly what Son has done to Daughter, and also to some extent, back at Parent. It seems that Daughter, and any other siblings, are beginning to "copy Son" but in actuality, they are copying Parent, and then, to a much lesser degree, their older sibling.

I don't agree with your discipline methods, and I think there are better ways. But I can't stop you. But I can say this:

If you are disciplining your child in this manner, that is definitely up to you. However, remember this when you get all frustrated about your child's yelling and hitting and aggression: the only thing they are actually doing are copying YOU, copying YOUR BEHAVIOUR as their role model, as their parent.

Make of that what you will.

First Look At A Potential Property

So there's this piece of property near here for sale. Five acres for $7000, crown-leased land. Lease is about $170 a year. For those who are wondering what crown-leased land is, well, first, I do believe it's a Canadian thing. I'm up in Canada. The crown (ie. the federal government) owns the vast majority of land in Canada, especially in the northern regions of the provinces. You can lease this land from the crown, but the process of trying to lease it is long and difficult.

It's a nice piece of property. I like it. It has two acres fences already. There is a possibility of buying another acre. Water comes from the nearby lake. No electricity.

There are problems though. It's currently zoned or rated for horses. I would like a small hobby farm - horses maybe, two cattle, some goats, sheep, alpacas, dogs, and maybe two pigs and the yearly piglets. I would have to apply to the crown to have that changed so I can have those animals on there as well.

I want to live on there full time. From what the man selling it said, currently a permanent residence on there is not allowed, although a movable residence would be. I would have to apply to have that. Or I could just build it. It's not like they really care - I think. I have to decide what size of cabin I would build on there, if I do build one.

The process of getting approval for the different animals would be a pretty long process, apparently.

I want to look at the lease, the drawings of the parcel, I need a water sample from the lake there. I need to figure out a way to get water to My place. Electricity (solar), heat (wood) I need shelter for the animals. I want at least two, if not four movable pens (for sheep).

I think the man really wants to get rid of the property though - he was already talking about it as mine.

Picking The Minds Of Wise Eldars For The Pearls Of Wisdom. Or Attempting To, Anyway.

So I got mentioned by Greenpa in a blog post at his blog, the Little Blog In The Big Woods. It was in response to my comment over here on another blog post.
He says:
"One of my readers, who goes by Lynx, helped push me in this direction.  His entire comment is available below this recent post.  I recommend it, if you have the time.  A few excerpts:"

I wrote a big long reply to this post, and then realized: I really should post a short one, and write a blog post myself. So, I did.


Well, well. I'm honoured to have my comment so commemorated.

Also, I'm a lady. She, not he. :p

Quite frankly, I can't remember whether it was intended in humour or not, but I suspect it was partially. :) I'm glad you got quite a few laughs out of it.

It's also completely serious. I know you can't answer all, or even several of the questions, and I don't expect you to. It was good to get all those questions out there, for me.

'"Hey, please tell me everything you know!" is actually a request I get fairly frequently; and often with no realization on the part of the asker about what's truly involved. I think you realize. :-) '

I try to realize. I know it's a big task I've set myself. I have been researching this information off and on since I asked the questions. It gets a bit more serious and personal for me right now, because I may be buying a piece of property somewhat soon - 5 acres for 7k (maybe less), 2 of which are fenced, no buildings. And yes, I know that's a very small plot, especially for everything I'd love to do. However, the job I have currently pays well and is good, so I do not want to quit to move elsewhere, and large chunks of land around here just aren't that available. It's mostly crown land (I live in northern Canada). I may end up being able to lease more land from the Crown once I get going there.

So all these questions I've asked...I'm actively looking for the answers now. As well as all the other questions that come with potentially buying a piece of property. What kind of zoning does the property have - can I even build anything on it? Is it crown lease, or private? Freehold? what about water, mineral, and tree rights? Leins on the property?

I have to decide, what kind of house am I going to build, in what format, with what materials, what kind of insulation. Do I build it myself, or hire a contractor? for just the framing, or the interior too? What kind of insulation will I go with, and where do I get it? What kind of foundation am I going to need? Is bedrock right on the surface? How and where am I going to get water? From a well (is that possible?), from a spring (are there any?), from the lake (how close is it, are there any contaminants, and is there potential for flooding?)? Once I get water, how do I keep the water lines from freezing? What kind of greywater system do I want and will work? Can I legally use a "sawdust" composting toilet, or will I be required to get a commercial one? What can I use in lieu of sawdust?

Some of these things I'm looking into, I know where I can probably find the information. Some I don't, but I will figure it out.

If I buy it, once I build a place to live and move out there, I will almost guaranteed have to buy a snowmobile before that year's coming winter - another thing to research.

So I attempt to pick your brains, Greenpa, other people's brains, I buy books on the subjects, I read blogs. I research. Because it's important. It's essential. I want to build right the first time. Do this right, the first time. But I won't be afraid to fail, because eventually, I will. Just means I'll have to try again, in a different way

Composting

I've been reading a lot about composting. Composting toilets as an alternative to water-based toilets, as well as composting food and other biodegradables. It's something that I am really interested in, as composting significantly reduces waste.

Last night I started work as a waitress in a Husky restaurant on a major highway. I ended up making $20 in tips, 25% of which went to the cook, allowing me to take $15 home (which promptly went into my gas tank so I could I get home.

Now one of the things that I noticed was just how much biodegradable waste was going into the garbage. The garbage was one of those large heavy-duty plastic ones, it was completely full at the end of the night, and probably about 90% or more of that garbage was biodegradable. It's got me thinking.

What kind of market is there for compost? Who buys it? Who could it be marketed to?

As well, what kind of market is there for collecting compost? Is this something that I could make money off of? A strange idea of a job, but there it is. What would it be like to really and truly reduce the amount of garbage in landfills?

I would have to find out however, if I'd be able to get enough carbon based materials to keep up with the compost-able nitrogen based materials.

Also, I would need a location where I could do this composting. That....might be rather interesting to find.

Anyways, more thoughts on this to come.

Dog Sledding! Oh how I miss you dogs.

Dee on the right in lead (brown), Glee on the left (white)
Oslo and Orbit
Oakly (I should have taken Otto, sigh) and Obee
Oslo, Orbit, Oakly, Obee, and Otto are all siblings.

Old Duke, 14 years old this summer. Awesome dog. A real sweetheart.

Lynx's Notebook on a Farm, April 27th, 2012

So, the farm here has a lot of garbage. Although glass jars are used for storing milk (we happen to have a lovely Jersey milk cow and calf), we don't really have an other food storage containers, glass or otherwise. Leftovers are kind of wasted. Often they will get eaten, but they also get thrown out. Or they get eaten and I'm simply not there. There are pieces of garbage just everywhere. Shouldn't an organic farm be making an effort to not produce garbage? And to not have what garbage there is strewn all over the property? He uses plastics and paper feed bags. What about canvas? Couldn't those be reusable, especially if they're good quality? Same with twine. Use twine from a biodegradable source, such as cotton, jute, flax, and hemp. If you cut it as little as possible when taking it off of bales, and keep the used twine on rollers or even just bundled up, you can reuse it for a myriad number of applications. Also, if you always carry a bag (used feedbag) or a backpack with you, you can stuff any cut ends of string or cut wire in it. It can also be used to hold a hydration pack, nails, hammer, and any number of items. This way, there is no garbage strewn on the ground.

Chickens should be made full use of. The layers have a great skill of scattering manure. Make and use an eggmobile. Also can use electric fence or netting. Details as in Pastured Poultry Profits.

Yesterday I set up fencing for a new pasture for the cattle. The electric fencing is really easy to do. The cattle are easy to move. If you are moving them a fair ways, you do need a fenced corridor, but that is easy enough to set up. To get the cattle to follow, simply have a bucket of oats and throw handfuls on the ground to your side. If you're simply moving them to a new pasture that is directly beside the old one, just open the fencing and they will go through. Well, they will go through if there is fresh grass, and they're used to going through. This fencing system is easy enough that one person can do it. One person could farm the land. For haying, you could hire a neighbour to cut and bales the hay and/or straw.

Hay bales and straw bales. I think I need to investigate this more. Personally, I prefer the rectangular bales to the round bales, or hayballs as the other WWOOFer calls them. I think that although the hayballs and strawballs are nice, they require big tractors to lift and move them. One person and a tractor can handle them. The rectangular bales however, specifically the two-string bales, one person can handle without any machinery (although hay is quite a bit heavier than straw). It would be possible to load a trailer full of bales and then move them via truck. It would probably use less gas than the tractor. If you only wanted one or two bales, then simply loading them onto the back of your pickup truck would work. The hayballs are quite nice for winter though, as you can simply stick it in the feed/round hay holder, and the cattle feed from that. I would think that generally one is not using hay in late spring, summer, and fall - those are the times to be collecting hay, not using it. All the herbivores are eating grass. For horses and donkeys, one should probably offer hay anyways, but that wouldn't be using much. Overall, I think I would go with the rectangular bales over the round bales. It is something to be researched however.

Going back to fencing and watering, apparently you can get a good fencing system for about $2000. He uses a watering truck, that is a truck with a large plastic tank in the pickup bed, to water many of the animals. The other WWOOFer and I were discussing fencing and water supply. He had several ideas on how to improve the current system. What you could do instead, is buy the land, look it over, choose the house location (if there is no house yet), figure out the water supply or source, the sites of outbuildings such as barns, sheds, and granaries. Then (or first, if you like), you figure out how you're going to use the land - where the pastures are going to be. You can set water lines, specifically very well insulated water lines in the ground (probably about four feet down, below the frost line to avoid freezing), as well as wire for electricity, and have access points coming up at various points where you're planning to pasture. As well, add permanent fence posts to be corners for your fencing. The reason for the permanent corners is that the corner posts are put under a lot of strain and when they are the fibreglass or plastic posts, they tend to bend, break, or fall over.

Set up in this fashion, one post could service four fields. Depending on the size of the fields, and especially in summer where you don't have to worry about freezing water lines, you could have on EWC (electricity water corner) service 16 fields - the adjacent fields and the fields adjacent to those. Just use garden hoses to extend the water, and wire to extend the electricity. In winter, one could quadruple the field size (would be quadrupling the field size in winter be a a good thing?). The initial investment would be quite high to set up a system like this, and if there were any problems such as leaks in the water line or corroded wire, it would be difficult to fix, but I think that the amount that you would save would be huge, in both money and time. You would simply have valves that you can turn, opening and closing EW pathways, to get the water and electricity flowing to where you want it. You can also put the cattle in a barn or barns for the winter, and have said barn adjacent to four fields. Have a road to the barn. It would work. Especially if you put the barn, house, and other outbuildings in the middle of the land. That would give equal access in all directions.

Lynx's Notebook on a Farm, April 25th, 2012

Chicken, garbage, plastic, string. What are their place on an organic farm. Chickens belong. Others?